“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.”
I have been reading and re-reading the comments to The Change Equation: The Beginning. My deepest thanks goes to all those in our brilliant and discerning blogger community who joined the dialogue. Your humour, joy and wisdom have added so much to this discussion and to my personal understanding. It appears that the change equation will have a series of iterations.
One thing is certain; or as certain as it can be in a world of uncertainty. We connect change with movement, whether it be in symbolic or tangible form. Moving from “one chair to another”, carrying “emotional baggage” and “losing our way” are iconic representations of a shift in place or space. And it seems that once we make that leap through the door, window, or archway, the opening closes or magically disappears into a vaporous mist. Our momentum is forward, not backward. We are in uncharted territory. Our reliable compass has trouble adjusting and our faithful, dependable map is smudged and ripped. New place, new rules, new pecking order…
No + time = Yes = Movement
And then we are back to time. Velocity, speed, distance is managed by a clock. So what sets the clock in motion? Motion requires a catalyst. From my experience, the catalyst can be internal or external. Our response is in direct proportion to the strength and magnitude of the catalyst.
Recall my friend who refused to go on Facebook? She feared the unknown, but her desire to stay connected to her children and grandchildren gave her the courage needed to learn to communicate in their world using their technology. This seems easy enough, but there were decisive, albeit small, steps before the movement was complete, the greatest one being accepting that she could no longer control the terms of communication. Her phone calls would reach voice mails, letters and even e-mails would never be returned. Two options and only one choice: loneliness or participation. Given the alternative of sitting alone, nursing resentment, she decided to engage and build resilience. She has since moved on to texting and is now learning to tweet. So we can add on to the equation, thusly:
No Facebook + time = Yes Facebook = Movement = More movement
No + time = Yes = Movement=More Movement
In transformation, time is a significant force. My friend did not need the sign “be the change.” What she needed was time to think through the process, to re-examine her needs, to sift through her emotions and reach a solution that resonated with her value system. In time, she recognized that moving forward enhanced her past, even though she was leaving a part of her life behind, and gave fresh meaning to a new possibility. When you sit in the “new chair” it may need to be worn in for a few days before it becomes comfortable.
Next post – What happened to the candle makers when the light bulb was invented? Can we predict the timing and the circumstances of change?