The Change Equation – The Beginning

“If I see any more signs on the walls of my workplace that tell me to be the change, I cannot be held accountable for what I may say.”

That came from a very good friend.  She’s intelligent, strong and full of cheerful humour. I knew exactly what she meant.  I want to be the change – my way – not at the whim of a business mantra that dictates the terms of change.  Brave words, but here is the situation: If our world is experiencing the strong winds of exponential change, we can be certain that we are being buffeted by those same air currents.  Words and phrases like productivity enhancements, strategic direction, and robust execution are bandied around as if we were dots on a graph, or a number in an equation.  And it was this line of thinking that gave me my “change” equation.  I was attending one of those embrace the new seminars, scribbling my notes on paper, when my pen stopped in mid-air, before landing on the paper to write, in bold strokes the equation:  N + t = Y.

 No + time = Yes

I knew that by the end of the seminar, the majority would be unhappy with the reorganization, but it wouldn’t be long before these same people would accept and happily acclimatize to a new environment. We will change, but we first say “no” to fresh ideas.  Even those amazing (and often annoying) souls, who seem to accept everything with cheerful gratitude, must undergo a series of decisions before plunging headlong into the unknown. Continue reading

Do you practice quid pro quo?

The Latin words quid pro quo is a sophisticated way to say:  “give or take,” “tit for tat”, “this for that” or “a favour for a favour.”  Whether we know it or not, most of us practice quid pro quo on a regular basis. Here are some examples:

1)      Sending a birthday card and thinking that we should receive a note of thanks in response.

2)      Inviting someone over for dinner and believing that a reciprocal invite should be forthcoming within a reasonable length of time.

3)      Sending a text and expecting an immediate response.

4)      Working overtime on a project to get a career boost.

The problem comes when our expectations are dashed and a subtle feeling of betrayal comes over us.   If we are nice, we expect the same in return.  If we go out of our way, then others should, too!  After all, one good turn deserves another.

Here’s a thought.  How honest are we with ourselves?  Do kindness, graciousness, mindfulness and compassion come with a price tag?

The more difficult question is:  Do we give something, so that others feel obligated to return the favour?

Or can we just be happy because we gave?  Something to think about…

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Ancient Rome 

“The only wealth which you will keep forever is the wealth you have given away.”
Marcus Aurelius (121 – 180 CE) Roman Emperor

The Time Given

Some say that there are two kinds of people in this world: those who love J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings and those who will soon come to love J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. I fit in to the first category.  I read The Fellowship of the Ring when I was 15 and continue to read it decades later.  I understand that Christopher Lee, who played Saruman in Peter Jackson’s film version, reads all of Tolkien’s books once a year.  He was also lucky enough to meet J.R.R. Tolkien in person.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

This is my favourite J.R.R. Tolkien quote because of its simple complexity. Many times we wish that things were different – that we didn’t need to face a difficulty or a crisis.  There are many things that we have little control over the outcomes.  Gandalf’s words are universal:  “so do all who live to see such times.”   And then the profound insight:  “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

This is not an easy task, especially in our fast-paced, ever-changing world.  It is a solitary choice that is based on the transient gift of time and the power to make decisions based on circumstances and personal values.  How do we face danger or loss?  How do we accept joy or embrace grief? Above all, how to we live abundant lives?

There is the paradox, as my good friend M___ reminded me.  We are creatures of the moment; we live in the time of the present.  Yet our decisions are future orientated and based on assumptions, not certainties.  It really is blending the finite with the infinite.

One thing is clear:  we must decide.

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The forests of the Scottish Highlands reminded me of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle-Earth